got bottlenecked again

my shit wrecked again and

I am going back

to where it all began but in my head

I’m never given slack

to shun me is where I lacked

the self control to push back

when countless hollow faces

eyes blazing

stared into me slacked

jawed without empathy and

primed to make me bleed

like there well drained

and if I could only relate to one soul

I would be released but this constant

beratement tears apart my self esteem

so please

keep me away

keep me asleep when I would rather not

be awake

and if the dreams come crawling from below

I’ll welcome them I’m told that horror shows

make a buck I know I’ll be the best

god damned freak that ever was

if I can only chanel this abstract feeling of

not being loved

so give to me a thousand empty pleas

of please keep away

I’ll turn into grease

for this cold hearted machine

to tear you up

turn this world into pulp and split

the heads of every cold face

that misdirection that comes with being empty

that comes with having no calm voice

to keep me sane and at ease

and I believe

I’ll keep remembering

that time where I was nobody and embodied

all that I hate

where hatred is the enemy and if I could

only be what I believe is real

the heart within me

Picture 009


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