blue skies cost so much when the

rain comes down static thick and quick as

silver rimmed clouds that echo these tragedies 

and speak to me for hours

I am no longer the person that I was

if you are not the person that I thought I

could never be without and bleed without

I am without myself

so speak to me these words of heresy to what I believed

so long ago when all this shit fell apart 

in the first place I’ve won

awards given to be driven to be dark, handsome, and 

beautiful I am without a key ingredient

I am myself when I am not all else

even if I cannot take the journey from my home to work

or if you’d still bear the curse of being first

I am no longer weary or still burdened by this thirst

so come to me and we will come together

a family worthy of the tears that I could shed anew

if I could only be a human being forever

worthy of another persons trust and

gentle hue

so shoosh me now

and set my able bodied mentality askew

when I come to from this century long fugue

you’ll be the one that opens up the door

throws back the curtain and lets me scream

much like a roar and bottled too

splitting seams to rip a shirt so shrewd

and here it comes the breaking of the pact

to where you cannot respond in kind

and it is all that I’ve lacked inside to be

a better breather and rearrange the sheets

that I’ve neglected for so long

they’ve grown a second blanket custom crafted

from the dust I’ve been amassing

in this imaginary brain bed

where my solace is and I am split and hewn

contrasting colors fill my center piece my

hearts design at rest

with respectable end tables for a beating

broken chest

set aside my waiting room is

where I’ll break in these shoes

and blisters will arise within me

just to send me bitter hues



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