gently perusing the excuses I have

for being alone and being a mess

when its time to buckle down and back

up the words I’ve spoken half in contempt

its been assured that I would be a

friendly person to meet or see

the reasons I am taking my time to

take the time to go out and unwind

its not enough to leave the house

its not enough to walk about

its definitely something that I lack

but its not the cause merely the effect

I inspect my defects with the ease of

one reading a manual a guidebook

for the far too long diseased

and it comes to know surprise that

this uneasy feeling I experience when

every I leave this comforting key

environment i have ensconced myself in with ease

is the result of long lost hopes and broken

promises long lost folks who walked away

after doing their worst to bring me pain

in the guise of loving me
its never easy to believe that

a target is on me bright red and shining

open invitation to all that would harm me

disarm me and require me to be

something less than human and more like

they think I should be

so I doll out the resources of this

dramatic self reading of lines

force fed to me by history repeating

Picture 035


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s