the consequences be damned

if I’m not good enough I’ll be

just bad enough to stand

and take a chance at breaking

through this dead layer of

stained glass that envelopes me

covers me and no longer helps me

be a better man its protection

only needed for so long

I’m no longer in that room

I’m no longer laying prone and

frightened of the things that come

or tainted by them anymore

but things linger things withstand

the test of time heals everything

but this I guess its not enough

to simply outlast these events

pursuing freedom giving room

to think and feel as if I knew

just how I should feel after

years of numbing my emotional wheels

packed in ice and wrapped in caution tape

I’ve been relayed for later

saved as in a refrigerator

but never ever ever favored

current events are dredging up the past

like flotsam from the ocean crashing

on the shores of my unassured

and splintered commotion

now I find myself alone and unable

to process all this shit that keeps me

weak and doesn’t do a damned thing

for my sleep

feeling vulgar feeling base

feelings I can’t even taste

but touch and smell are on the screen

my visions blurred but I still see

will I ever been myself seen

I cant regret what I cant be




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