As a child on the playground

My thoughts danced with shivering epochs

and stretched onward in the grass that

I yanked out in chunks

I lived in a world asymmetric

torn away from all that I expected

and bore into a blasted land

right before my eyes

so I took my tole and strained into folds

on the ground where all I could see

is a universe centered on smallness and specters

all of this became my reality

and no maybe it wasn’t truth but it felt like my youth

would stretch on for all of time

and blind maybe I’m a rind and what was inside

was chucked out just to be held tight

so I finally lifted my eyes and saw a crooked sight

one that wanted to be seen in the light

and I couldn’t bare to be alone

its so hard to be alone when the sun drops

down from the sky

so I reached out a shaking hand

just to have that hand grasp by the one

wrong thing that I could stand

just to be a prey for a thing

that wasn’t a man but a beast in human skin

that it would shed in the night with a grin

and no maybe I was wrong but I was so young

so tired so alone and so pointlessly done

the things that were done to me can’t be undone

so in the night I’ll never find respite again

and I awake to the air as a man with thoughts and cares

but a hollowed out place in my heart

and I can’t live life alone but I’m scared of all the folds

that would reach out to take me inside

and I can’t be a human being I’d rather be a thing

even if that thing is an anachronistic freak

I don the clothes of yore and garb of before

just to feel like walking out my door isn’t abhorred

I can’t cross that threshold into the day without

bleeding away all the pain so I scribe

type chip and write all thats seen of the nights

where I was broken down

and my childhood gutted
so I can feel the air as it stirs past me

and makes me a thing

an object of stares and the eyes

of all the pointless people the society of creeps

that build up a man to be a certain thing

and I can’t be what they want I can’t be what I want

I’d rather be what I’d be if it wasn’t so hard

to take to the air or cast nets in the sea

let loose hails of bullets at all of my fears




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