SAVE POINT

what kind of world is this

where everyone claims the same freedoms

as an excuse for causing bleeding

and half the populace is foaming at the mouth

it’s all gone south

where heritage is weighed above a life

where the meaning of that word is

conflated with strife

and all out memories of history of

slavery and bigotry

are more important than a fleeing

crowd before a car berating

making victims out of those

who oppose hate and wish for us

to be a nation free

when our rights are what make freedom be

so give me liberty means that each

human being is worth it

and we all deserve to be and have a purpose

we are self serving our way to being brave

entitlement just means we finally have our day

and they’ll have to make way for a different dawn

a different day today

so don’t forget to save

DETONATE

reason’s on hold for the moment

I’m sold at the notion of

staying indoors

and I abhor all this hullabaloo

all this strife and hate too

it’s a nation unglued

and I’m falling apart too

wake up one morning and I’m

part of the problem I’m starting to think

that I’m targetted trotting along

prance about in pirate garb

and grow my hair long

frock coats and brocade and

singing a song

so it’s morning again and I’m

desperately looking for a friend

but the world is unhinged

nazis fill the streets of this town

brimming with underground reprimands

for not being a real man

and I am so tired of pretending

fending of notions so bloating with meaning

metaphorical dreams sometimes subtle

sometimes blunt as the club

I’d be hit in the face with

yearnings come on strong and the

night is so long and the

reasons to remain hidden are

growing and brought on

by the faults in the earth

all the wrongs pilling up

all the hatred and strife is just

blowing me up

DO YOU KNOW ME?

when will you see me

when will this catastrophe be

will when the anchor of me

cut loose and split my being

into entropy

I keep on waiting

creating this costly unease

where I am thinking of what’s to be

and being caught up in my being

it isn’t enough for you

to call me by that name

it isn’t enough for you to bitch and brew

a cocktail of self hate

in me I plead here silently

for a destiny to be

where I hate you

or where you love me

so call me a she if  you please

right in front of me in odd company

and send a signal up that you know of me

I light a fire underneath

and spiral out of the breach

to take the reigns of this hamfisted

disbelief

that you know me

PUSHING BOUNDARIES

lyrical linguistics

talking smack but not taking shit

I’m fist bumping etiquette

and shaking the hand of those who quit

the cracks in my face start to raise a fine question

I’m cool with what’s underneath but my visage is damned and

simply too much for the ones I love to see

I’m fractured and broken and so much more than my enemies

destined for failure but failure’s no cake walk

forsake all my notions of what is a man

I’m split down the middle and seekings what’s simple

love is no great riddle but I’m tongue twisted and fiddling

sprint to the finish line I’m never fine but I’m making progress

faking my calm and taking what’s drawn from me

used and abused and manipulated to I’m still a man

but I’m more than that too

my hues are overdue for an overhaul

red and black colors replaced pink and blue

so merge me with everything find middle ground in me

I can’t quite become what’s me if no one can see me

taste on my tongue recognizing what’s wrong

I require more options than what’s given all along

alone with my thoughts taking time to scheme and plot

consuming every concept and shitting out middle ground

and look at the person I’ve found

the mask is shifting and drifting down

pushing boundaries and being at ease with being  me now

the thing that I was all along is between your bounds

MID AFTERNOON MORNINGS

early in the morning in the mid afternoon

I’m speaking gently talking softly

thinking of being spoons

and its true that your enticing and thrilling me

twice tonight I’ll be bringing up my back for free

centuries slipping by sipping chai tasting where I’ve been

flipping out clipping coupons for bitter ends

send me gifts make me bleed trick me into being at ease

freezing cold awkward speech wishing I wasn’t diseased

and its a midnight tryst I’m looking for

pierce my heart with this encore

will I ever be the person I need to be to be with anybody

A million options and nobody cares

I am thinking about slipping into something more comfortable

maybe an uncomfortable chair

make up a reason to be far away and understated

three states in either direction and I’m still hated

so if you take a long hard look at me from far away I

make you take a second glance and ask if I’m one or the other

fill everyone around me with confusion and indecisiveness

my anxiety is infectious as is my smile and friendliness

I switch between each inner voice with reckless abandon and no choice

my words are bleeding through to middle grounds where no

woman or man can go

and I’m starting not to blow it though I kinda wanted to

will I ever be the person that I thought I knew

I’m twice the thing that I thought a person should be

double up my personality and fuck this tease

 

ACHE

Abominable thing I bring

destruction to the scene it springs

to action when I’m seen and be me

be inside me free me from this

peace and prosperity

fling myself into a fire of

east of where I want to be and

seize this chance to second glance me

sprint into this atrocity

so when I drink I think I’m

a better thing than I am able to

put u at ease bring every thing together

better not tip that bottle ever

feathers glued to my ass a

sheathed sword is my destiny and

Satan thought up better ways to thrill me

but I’d rather you just billed me for the

therapy I dole out troll out fuck me twice

and bail I’m ill I’m destruction personified

I might just bite but I’d rather you

took the rains and don’t ask me to explain

just hold me then make me insane

saints wanted me and sinners too

but I’m a botched and broken brew of

man and beast and woman too

can you make me real?

So are you

will this ever end will we pretend forever

that this will ever

be a thing that comes out right a

hand to hold mine in the night

a makeshift bed is all we need

my body parts aren’t yours to please

so don’t ask me why I can’t be your savior

husband wife or better side ever

I am a bitch

a broken bride

I might just cast myself aside

ON: THE IMPORTANCE OF CHANGING NAMES

We come into this world transient things on a time limit, born in on wings of promise and hope, but with so little life to be had and so many things to accomplish. It seems weird to me, then, that the names we bear, those little icons of our inherent humanity, are chosen before the givers of those names even have an inkling of who we are, or who we will turn out to be. Think of yourself in that position, if you haven’t already been there before. You are an expecting parent, mother or father, and your child has yet to be born, but you must in your “infinite wisdom” give them a moniker they will be effectively stuck with the rest of there lives. You must define them, in most cases with little more than a grainy sonogram pointing out their genitalia. It seems to me that a person in that position has better odds of pulling a name out of a hat that will be a fitting one than picking one on the basis of the information they are given.

Names have power, the names we are given define is I subtle ways, define how people think about us in terms of gender and identity, and define how we think of ourselves in those terms and many more. Given the choice, and with zero repercussions, would you chose to alter you name from that which was chosen nearly at random? For me that answer was simple, a resounding YES.

Our society puts so much pressure on the naming of children, so much to the point of if a child isn’t given one of the current socially accepted names they become nearly a pariah among their peers. Wouldn’t it make more sense if the naming of a person fell on the person themselves? Who knows better about who you are than YOU. Who better suited to give yourself a name than YOU.

Our parentage is another matter entirely, our last names show where we came from, while inversely our first and middle names show where we are going, or are meant to. But what if you wish to cut yourself off from your past? Many people do, its not entirely uncommon. And in that same vein, what if you wish to redefine where you are going? To take the reigns of your life and redirect your course in some dramatic and well thought out manner? Is it really so capricious to want to alter the once thought to be set in stone series of concept and letters that are our names?

Think of cases of trans children, whose entire identity hast to be altered on the basis of gender in flux, or those who wish to cut themselves off from painful or abusive relatives, or even those who just wish to have a name that is more in line with who they are are less in line with the thoughts and whims and expectations of parents with no idea who they were birthing? A THOUSAND reasons to change those tiny letters that spell out who we are, and very little to give credence to the current name giving paradigm. If I could without much recourse I’d change my name to one better suited to me, for both purposes, to cut myself off from my history, and to redefine where I am going, and I doubt I’m the only one.

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